


Mirror, Mirror

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [209]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fear, Gen, Possession, angsty, just reflecting on what's happened, no actual possession, reflections
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 19:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8114086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: Sam doesn't look in the mirror anymore. He doesn't want to know what might look back.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a piece from Tumblr.
> 
> It reflects on themes of possession.

Sam barely even knows what he looks like any more. Sometimes, he can’t help but catch a look, doesn’t turn his head away in time, but on the whole, he avoids it as much as he can.

He has long hair, now. He can feel it, when he runs his fingers through it. He knows the general appearance of his features–they haven’t changed that much over the years. 

So he has a general picture in his head. That’s him. Weird eyes, long nose, sharp chin. Long hair, tall. He knows what he looks like, it’s pretty hard not to. But he doesn’t have any sort of updated look.

He took down the mirror in his room in the Bunker, and the ones in the bathroom he uses. It took a while to learn to shave without a mirror, but Sam did. He cuts himself less now than he did when he was forced to look at himself. It works for motels, too; he shaves in the shower and avoids his reflection.

It’s stupid. There are a million things in the world to avoid, from dark forests at night to mysterious phone calls from strangers, weird sandwiches and crossroads. His reaction isn’t logical or even called for. His reflection isn’t dangerous. Sure, there have been some documented stories, but on the whole, Sam and Dean haven’t seen any evidence of reflections being dangerous.

No, it’s just Sam’s. Just Sam who needs to avoid staring himself in the eyes like this, who does his absolute best to pretend reflective surfaces don’t exist.

He’s almost positive he’s alone in his body, but the fact simply remains that history has taught him that he just cannot know. And he refuses to look into a mirror, only to see firm evidence that someone else is looking back.

He still remembers that day with Lucifer, those being Sam’s features, but not Sam’s face, not his expressions. Lucifer looked back at him, and Sam never forgot it.

Logically, he knows that Lucifer would have been there, whether or not Sam saw him reflected in his own face or not. But the image has never left Sam, the most solid evidence of lost control, stolen body, he could ever conceive of. He shudders still, at the very thought.

Lucifer is in the pit, but he isn’t the only creature to have robbed Sam of his body. Sam won’t look. He won’t see that proof.

He shaves himself blind, showers, then dresses, leaving the bathroom. There’s no mirror, just a discolored spot on the wall where a mirror once hung, and Sam can’t help but think of it every time it catches his eyes.

He shivers, then shuts off the light and laves the bathroom. At the end of the day, there really is no need to see himself, to see what’s in his eyes.


End file.
